Progress Check-In: -1.5lbs in 5 days

Yesterday morning I kind of wanted to weigh myself out of habit since I'm following a self-imposed plan.

In the periods where I was paying for and going to the Dr.Bernstein Clinic at the ass-crack of dawn M/W/F,  the expecting rate of loss was about 3.5 lbs a week and they weigh you on each visit which could sometimes be very exciting to see such a drop, or very frustrating to see nothing at all (usually in the 7-10 days of PMS).

Yesterday I thought that I probably should not weigh myself often because I may get discouraged seeing as how the Dr.Bernstein plan (a ketogenic, "very low calorie" diet) ensured more immediate results.

So, this morning as I relished the few minutes of stolen time after hitting the Snooze button, I decided I would weigh myself and accept that there might not be a loss, but at least I would know how differently my body behaved on this plan. After turning to the Dr.Bernstein plan numerous times after my first big loss of about 90lbs (12 years ago), I became very aware of what to expect from my body and mind while following it, but I don't know that same information about me when following the "watch your calories, drink water and eat right, everything in moderation" plan.

I lost 1.5 lbs since I officially started putting my nose to the grindstone on Jan.12th. That's a quarter pound a day so far!  Here's my report showing when I started really tracking my calories & nutrients using MyFitnessPal:

It's interesting how I've become more cognizant of the calories I'm taking in after the first couple of days of FULLY tracking everything.

It's our busiest time of the new year at work and our boss bought Swiss Delice Petits chocolates from Costco and have had them out since last week. I tracked each one that I had; it didn't take too much effort to locate the nutritional information on the internet and enter it as a food item in my food list within the app. I also looked up the info for things I ate or drank on the fly such as the Starbucks Chai Lattes which are not only costly, but expensive in calories as well (but they taste like "Fall" which is their redeeming quality and since I have a gift card I get to enjoy them for free). Did I enjoy logging that I ate 6 chocolates and went way over in my calories? No.

But I did enjoy logging that I ate 5 chocolates and managed to still stay within my calorie budget in the days following!

I also planned for popcorn while sharing a movie with a new friend!

At the end of the day yesterday, when I saw that I still had 240 calories I could spend, I ate two of my homebaked cookies stashed in my friend's freezer whose house I now look after (he's had ample time to eat them, so I reclaimed them).

It's very encouraging!

Return of a good habit

Thanks to my friend Lisa G. who kindly explained the virtues and how to use MyFitnessPal (the app and the website, which sync together with every entry made on either platform), I have started returning to one of the habits that was part of my success in 2009: logging food.

It's as easy to use as FitDay.com and as an Android phone user, I'm able to carry it with me. Every time I log a food and complete my entries for the day, it says "if every day were like today you would weight ___ lbs in 5 weeks!". It's an immediate reality check with what I've done each day.

As well, logging food ahead of time gives me an idea of where I can plan ahead for things such as popcorn when I'm watching a dvd at home, or a Starbuck's chai latte. Those are 240 calories each! So they need to be planned. Fortunately they're expensive and I am only getting them because I was given a gift card for Christmas.

I've modified my goal settings to be 1400 calories a day with a 40/40/20 macronutrient ratio of protein, carbs and fat (this is based on recommended amounts as provided in Jamie Easton's fat loss program on Bodybuilding.com).

Since starting to log (I think it's been 3 full days), I've come down a half pound. I've also noticed that I've started to concentrate on my water intake.

I call it the start of progress. I would prefer to just be able to switch gears and fully adopt the lifestyle I was in the habit of in the summer of 2009, but it just won't happen that way and I have to recognize when my mind is making the shift towards the ideal, even if it's just one step.

Cool Tools (or Bogging Myself Down in the Details)

This is the coolest/easiest online calculator I've found, now I just need to know what to do with it!

http://www.health-calc.com/diet/energy-expenditure-advanced


All I want to know is what is the closest estimate to how many calories I should be taking in, in order to affect weight loss? I feel like I'm over-researching and getting discouraged.

I had some sweetened greek yogurt this evening and bloated enough afterwards that I felt like I'd gained 5 more lbs since this morning.

There's a lot of self-loathing going on and fear. What if I try to eat "normal" foods and stay within the 1400 calorie range and still gain weight??


This is all causing anxiety. Anxiety causes me to reach for comfort (foods).

It's a huge and nasty vortex.

My Calculations

I will probably edit this post a few times, but I want one spot to keep track of the following:

Resting Heart Rate = 72bpm ("above average" for my age according to the chart, yay!)
Metabolic Heart Rate: 220-age (which is 42) = 178bpm

Fat burning zone = 107bpm - 125bpm according to:

http://www.brianmac.co.uk/hrm1.htm

This makes me want to invest in a heart monitor watch which are not cheap!

My alternate way of dealing with this is to find out the beats per minute of my favorite workout songs and ensure that iTunes knows it by right clicking the song, choosing "Get Info" and on the "Info" tab, filling in the BPM field. Then I can just generate a "fat burning" playlist to sync onto my iPod Nano.


Resting Metabolic Rate = around 1525 using the Harris-Benedict calculations (incl. the revised one) or based on the Military Circumfrence % of bodyfat = 1503

best resource I found for this calculation is at: http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/calrmr.htm

RMR & Comprehensive List of Activities & Calories Burned

In case you wanted to know how many calories you're burning while repairing that airplane, check out the sort-of user-friendly calculators at:

http://www.caloriesperhour.com/index_burn.php

I think it's cool that they also have "Disco Dancing as an activity since I go to to the World's Largest Disco each year and dance my ass off from 9:30pm - 1am...apparently that burned about 1250 calories!


Also, an explanation of why we might want to Google "Resting Metabolic Rate" instead of using the catchy "BMR" when figuring out what sort of deficit we are creating by bringing down our food intake somewhat.

My Most Useful Posts

This post is strictly for my own convenience, so that I can access quickly the posts wherein I referenced the most useful tools and calculations to figure out what my plan will be:

BMR / TDEE / gym arrival time for working out in the morning before work (Aug 2009)

More BMR calculations & calorie goals (Feb 2010)

More adjustments to caloric goals including fiber needs  (April 2010)

Best Practices summaries from when I started in 2009 (May 2010)


I will go back through everything with updated figures and see how my plans should change.

My Lunch with Lisa G.

"Lisa G." started out as a colleague at work and now I consider her a friend. She's in her twenties (I'm in my early 40's), wise, strong, funny, and someone I thoroughly enjoy spending any time with.

Over the past 4 years I've heard her talk about her love of food and the pub outings with her friends and b.f., and how running was her way of managing her weight. I always thought she had a figure I would love to have and then at some point this summer, I noticed how much more lean and lithe she was appearing and her clothing was even more complimentary than usual. She had thanked me and said she had lost some weight and touched on a few things that she had done differently.

Since then, I watched what her typical lunches have been; very salad-y and veggie oriented, but she ate happily and watched her indulge in some treats over the holidays at my birthday outing which she graciously organized.

I asked her if we could have lunch together so that I could inquire further about how she reached her svelte physique. These were the points that came out:

• a little over a year ago, she and her bf saw photos taken together that they didn't like and wanted to slim down a bit

• they decided to cut out wine and beer for a month and they committed to 4 workouts a week (without changing her diet, she lost 10lbs in a month this way).

• then they reintroduced wine and beer only on weekends and continued with the 4 workouts a week. Being a runner, she noticed that the change to their alcohol consumption allowed her to feel stronger and began pushing herself a little further on her runs..at first doing about 20km a week...she lost another 5lbs or so

• her friend introduced her to MyFitnessPal.com, which is a free site and free mobile app which syncs with the site and in using the calculators there, determined a caloric goal and tracked everything she ate and all the exercise she did so that she kept close tabs on how she was affecting that weekly calorie deficit you would want to shoot for to lose fat. Once she started changing her nutrition she lost another 10-15lbs and then switched her mobile app to "maintenance mode" so she is still tracking her calories, but ensuring she doesn't lose anymore weight.

• she is still doing her 4 workouts a week, though she turned one of the running days into a strength training day 

• she allows herself to eat whatever she wants on the weekends with the goal of not eating back all the calories in deficit and she makes sure to still track what she's eating as she finds that she will eat less of something if she knows how eating more of it will add up when she goes to track it

I've watched people around her; notably older ladies exclaiming "my goodness, don't lose anymore weight!". She looks very good; not unhealthy thin.

I asked her if she felt like she was "dieting" when she had changed her nutrition. She said that most of the time she did not, until confronted with treats or a big foodcentric event, and ensured that she wasn't depriving herself the entire time (hence the weekend flexibility).

I asked her how she deals with not wanting to go for a run when she gets home. She said that as long as she's doing 4 workouts a week, if she comes home and doesn't want to go for a run and isn't prodded to go by her b.f. (who also runs--they're a great partnership, I look forward to their wedding someday!), she will permit herself to stay home on the condition that she definitely runs on a specific day thereafter. She also knows how tiresome it feels to have to run Fri/Sat/Sun/Mon and tries not to set herself up for 4 consecutive running days.

***

Although there's no way in hell I will ever become a runner, it is her outlook and approach that I admire and seek to adopt this year.

2013

Wow.

So it's been 19 months since I last "took stock" and added an entry to my Gym Blog; a blog which I used to use in 2009 as a platform to record my plans and progress.

What's happened since May 2011?

• in June 2011 I broke up with my LDR, in July 2011 I went to Halifax
• I got a new kitten and all hell broke loose
• I moved to a new apartment in October 2011
• still doing my Swing dancing when lessons and workshops are available
• met a bf in April 2012, was together for 5.5 months during which time I spent my weekends with him a lot of the time and the eating went out the window, however I was a nice size when I met him, fresh off a recent 4-week weight-loss effort at Dr.Bernstein
• my relationship with my newest best friend was becoming distant, petty and uncomfortable at the same time as my romantic relationship was becoming intolerable
• then September came--at the end of that crazy month I broke up with the b.f.
• then October came, along with drama from the break up and drama from trying to get my friendship on better ground again, had to involve the police with regards to the b.f. 
• November: Disco month
• December 2012: birthday/Christmas/New Year's and....

....here I am after having gained weight over the summer and fall and now without the Dr.Bernstein program to fall back on since it's not reimbursed by my insurance company at the same rate anymore.

I used New Year's day and the days leading up to it deciding to refocus myself (as I think everyone tends to do) and came down to 5 things I wanted to improve, "figure" and "fitness" being the two that apply to the blogging I do here.

Inspired by my friend at work, I am going to test the merits of the MyFitnessPal website and mobile app which seem to be very similar to FitDay.com (but with an app too).

I've bought a speed rope (skipping rope) for cheap as a means of trying out a new form of cardio.
I've updated my iPod with some fresh beats.

I'm also paying attention to my thought processes.

My first reaction was to stock up on the foods I would have been eating on the Dr.Bernstein diet and attempt to do it at home on my own without the shots. It is so restrictive that I immediately felt a sense of isolation come over me knowing how difficult it is to do. However, one insane day back at work at the start of a new term decimated that plan by about 11am.

I left work yesterday when it was dark and thought to myself, "
 what would motivate me to go to the gym right now after the day I've had, feeling like I do right now?" I could not come up with anything. I just wanted to go home and seek comfort in my pyjamas and that's what I did.

I decided that trying to do such a difficult program just to achieve a short-term loss was not worth it when really what I've wanted to do is get back to the excitement and empowerment I felt when I was weight-training in the summer of 2009.

I called my friend at work and asked if she wanted to have lunch and talk further about how she achieved her improved health and she was happy to tell me all about it. It made me feel good about trying to take the right path and that's what I am here to assert.

2013 needs to be "the year".

Taking Stock--before I get started

This is where I am at today:

• on 300mg of Wellbutrin XL because I didn't want to try coming down in dose while going through the strains of a LDR
• my lower back doesn't hurt, but I know it's not strong
• long distance drives make my hips feel stiff and tired and my lower back feels irritated--but I do drive a 4-door sedan so the ergonomics of my seat configuration are not very conducive to long drives
• I am tired after work most every day
• have had some headaches here and there which feel like tension headaches
• my shoulders and neck are usually tense and knotted
• I'm pretty sure I don't get quality sleep often
• at the end of February was experiencing heart palpitations which went unexplained since all the heart diagnostics available came back fine
• crave sweets often
• can't remember the last time I lifted weights
• drink 1-2L of water a day with something added to it like Nestea packets

Let's leave it at that.

A year later....

It's almost a year later and I'm now my 5th month into being 40 years old.


 I've spent every day wanting to get back to the discipline and commitment of the lifestyle I was leading when I was going to the gym regularly. But, every day I have been tired after work and it has become routine to simply go home; my gym bag still packed from months ago.


I had gone up to 165lbs and was edging out of my favorite pants. I am a thrift store shopper, so it wasn't a big deal--just go get another couple pairs for $6 each.

A new relationship has begun and while presently it is long distance, it's only for another year and we'll be seeing each other throughout this year. Prior to meeting, I scrambled to lose whatever weight I could manage and my first choice was to go back on the Dr.Bernstein program for 8 weeks. I lost 14 pounds and was happy enough with myself when I met him to enjoy the visit thoroughly.

However, in a LDR, after that first visit, there's a bit of a low point I wasn't prepared for and of course, right around Easter and PMS time when chocolate was not only abundant, but craved. I have decided that Toblerone=Chocolate Crack , so need to stay away from that or any version of it. I gained back 7 pounds after going on a chocolate campaign.

It's 9 weeks out from our next visit and I want to see what I can accomplish on my own at the gym. I went to the gym for the first time in a LONG time yesterday and had a session with a personal trainer to assess where I was at. I'm going to need to start nearly from scratch.

I am glad that I kept my workout book from last summer, so that I can see what I was doing back then.

According to the measurements at the gym, I'm 29% body fat. So--here we go....9 weeks to see what I can do!