When things start to feel out of control, or I start to feel overwhelmingly anxious about the damage I've done to myself with the eating last summer/fall, or when I view myself dancing on video which I'm doing a lot more of lately in order to improve, I start panicking and plan to get into ketosis so I can lose weight as fast as possible with the tried and true methods of my past.
Then I start to anticipate that feeling of isolation that comes with being on a ketogenic diet (constantly having to turn things down, explain yourself etc) and it too makes me anxious. I go through the day talking myself out of it, rationalizing that if I just ate low-carb and did cardio for an hour every day, I could probably affect a weight loss; even though not as great as it may be with a ketogenic diet.
Then I realize that my life is totally different this year, in that I am committed to dancing nearly every weekend this summer and an evening of dancing leaves me so exhausted and ravenous, I don't know how I would manage the energy demand. I won't know until I try of course.
When I see myself on video, I bounce back to my original thought that I seriously need to buckle down and get into ketosis because it saddens me to see what I've done to myself.
I feel like a tennis ball.
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