My Newbie Goals

I have been following a ketogenic diet for what seems like a long time. If I haven't been "on the diet", I have been "off the diet, trying to get back on". I have been faithful to the Dr.Bernstein program really believing that it has been my saving grace. I have been fortunate that my last and present health benefits plan has reimbursed 85%-100% of the cost of the program, otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here today weighing around 145lbs and wearing a size medium or 9/10.

While it is certainly wonderful to fit into clothes at that size and opens up so many clothing options at cheaper prices at this size, because of the super strict nature of the plan I've been successful on, I am now tiring of it and have found that it is really hard to lose those last 5-10lbs. Mostly because I already look in the mirror and am generally happy with the clothing size and because it's a diet that is very isolating and requires a great deal of discipline and focus.

I have never been a gym person. Mostly because the only gyms that are available in the area just don't seem like places I would want to spend much time in. However, recently a Gold's Gym opened and I signed up for it. I'm actually enjoying the amenities, the atmosphere and can see myself going regularly.

Last week I went 3 times. That hardly ever happened in the past!

I've also been feeling like I need a new direction in life. For the last several months I have been coming to terms with where I am financially and it seems like it will be another 5 years or so before my credit report is sparkling clean. At 38 years old, it just feels like I am resigned to this financial situation and that it is weighty enough to prevent me from enjoying other aspects of life. Mainly children...do I want them? When I do want them, can I afford to have them? When I can afford to have them...will I be able to have them? What if I miss that boat entirely because I spend the next 3-4 years waiting for my financial fitness to improve and biology has made the decision for me??.....my mind has been spinning about it and at this point, I need to look at what I can do to put my mind towards something less stressful.

I've never really worked out consistently.
I am easily stressed and worry excessively.
Without the confines of the diet I've been or been trying to follow, I am scared because I don't know how to eat that will not make me gain weight.

With this in mind, I recently was exploring a website called TMuscle.com . After just trying to figure out what would make a productive routine at the gym, I started checking out the areas devoted to "figure athletes". The loftiest goal I could think of would be in good enough shape that I could be a figure athlete.

My realistic goal which is important for me right now would be to start building muscle so that I can increase my metabolism so that I can afford to follow some semblance of 'normal eating' and feel confident that I can keep my weight loss down.

Also, I have a Tanita scale which currently shows my body fat percentage at 34% and if that's accurate, I need to lose some body fat.

I have come a long way from 231 lbs 9 years ago.

So, today I will go to the gym and report later what I did.